Dez Homi’s (Doxinators) 700th Birthday Bash! Review – By Samwesty999

I know I am not a writer, but I wonderd if you (Caution!) would like to have this in the newspaper.I originally made it for the hey magazine, but then I quit. It seems a shame to waste it.


Dez Homi’s (Doxinators) 700th Birthday Bash!
Review – By Samwesty999

It was early afternoon and I heard Dez Homi’s party had already started. I waddled as fast as I could, as I didn’t want to miss all the fun.

When I got to the cove I immediately saw Dez Homi dancing the day away with some other familiar forumers including Jurtle, Basketcase1 and Stalemite67. It was great to see the variety of fashions which penguins were wearing. I was extremely surprised to see some penguins dressed as clowns, firefighters and Hawaiian dancers; maybe they thought it was a dressing up party. Dez Homi looked very happy with his party, probably because he was getting lots of smiles, birthday wishes and most of all, lots of attention.

Next, we headed over to the snow forts and started snowball fighting, I was hit on the head twice; I guess that is what happens when you are doing a review at the same time.

Most people got bored with snowball fighting and Dez Homi told everyone to go to the lodge, I guess he was eager to win some find four games. Everyone competitively started playing find four. The atmosphere was fantastic.

I got fairly bored after a while and so I left. It was a really great party and I hope there is one like this in the future. Next time I would love to see lots of cake!

- Samwesty999

Just in case it's put in, I'll edit it.

It was early afternoon, and I heard Dez Homi’s party had already started. I waddled as fast as I could, as I didn’t want to miss all the fun.

When I got to the cove I immediately saw Dez Homi dancing the day away with some other familiar forumers including Jurtle, Basketcase1 and Stalemite67. It was great to see the variety of fashions which penguins were wearing. I was extremely surprised to see some penguins dressed as clowns, firefighters and Hawaiian dancers; maybe they thought it was a dressing up party! Dez Homi looked very happy with his party, probably because he was getting lots of smiles, birthday wishes and most of all, lots of attention.

Next, we headed over to the snow forts and started snowball fighting, I was hit on the head twice; I guess that is what happens when you are doing a review at the same time!

Most people got bored with snowball fighting and Dez Homi told everyone to go to the lodge, I guess he was eager to win some find four games. Everyone competitively started playing find four. The atmosphere was fantastic!

Eventually I decided to leave. It was a really great party and I hope there is one like this in the future. Next time I would love to see lots of cake!

Happy birthday Dez Homi!

- Samwesty999

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I fixed the bored part, because it didn't seem right with the review. I also added a happy birthday line at the end. I hope you are okay with that!

Yeah, it all seems good to me. Great editing!